fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
