hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
