no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
