Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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