dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
