If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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