he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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