all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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