Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
How external is "for external use only"?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
