she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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