so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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