I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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