I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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