She's JV to your varsity
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
