No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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