Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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