dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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