I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We have so much sex to catch up on
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
