I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Come on in and take your pants off
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