i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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