Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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