Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
