I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
