Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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