Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
