so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
