It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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