my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
