I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
