ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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