I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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