but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
