it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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