If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
