I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
