called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
