Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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