So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
