I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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