I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
