to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
