Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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