haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We're too hungover to prance.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
