You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
