I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
