i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
