I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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