Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
