It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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