recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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