This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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