She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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