There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
