Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize