I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
