why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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