morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
