I can tuck mytits in my pants
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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