So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
