My girlfriend figured out who you are.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
