Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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