I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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