i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
