so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
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Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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